Do you have evidence that humanoid reptilian aliens are manipulating world events to establish a new world order? It’s 3AM and all you can think about is what would be the best strategy for surviving a sharknado? Are you in a desperate need of a virtual hug after conquering a never-ending saga of perpetual preschool plague?

My preferred way of communication is through a carrier pigeon but if this not a viable option for you at the moment please email me instead.

The sanity of my reply may be questionable but I promise to answer you faster than you can say “The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick”.